Saturday, February 10, 2007

Tips for Valentine's Day

Men often have a difficult time figuring out what to do on Valentine's Day -- and if they expect to get any ...uh, make the women in their lives happy, they need to know the basics. Here it is, guys, in plenty of time.

Step One: Remember. The minimum requirement is to let the woman know you care. The least expensive way is to look at her -- preferably somewhere on her face -- and say, "I love you, [her name here]." If you forget her name, don't bother with the rest of the steps -- you already lack the skill to survive.

Step Two: Cards. A Valentine's card is an acceptable nonverbal token of appreciation. Best of all, it's cheap. Good Valentines are pink with lots of lace and have cute words such as "I'll love my sugar bunny forever and ever and ever and ...". Bad Valentine cards say, "Good for one free quart of motor oil."

Step Three: Candy. While a handful of M&Ms is OK, women tend to expect something a bit nicer. It should be in a box for starters, and wrapped in nice paper for that extra touch. The best way to explain why you must do this is: women regard chocolate the same way men view beer. Enough said?

Step Four: Jewelry. A bit pricier, but essential if you did not bother with Steps 1-3. If you did, you might get by with a small but hideously expensive ring, necklace, or tiara. Note: most women, even in Arkansas, do not consider aluminum, tin or a mylar balloon to be a precious metal.

Step Five: Lingerie. Caution! Not only does it have to be the right size and caliber, it must also match any of the 8 billion feelings she currently has about herself. To be safe, tell the clerk you're looking for something that can't be used to strangle you in your sleep.


Step Six: Romantic Getaways. These are only good for couples with more than .2 children. Studies prove that not even bacteria can reproduce when a toddler is beating on the bedroom door with a Fisher-Price toy. Depending on the size of your family, a sufficient getaway may range from a motel in town to crossing at least three international boundaries.

The Most Important Thing to Know: Unlike men, women give points for trying. So do something -- anything is better than nothing. Every year, emergency rooms fill with men who didn't understand this simple point.

Good joke: Helping Men Survive Valentine's Day

5 Comments:

At 10:29 AM, Blogger Kok Hon said...

lol

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger doron said...

Klonopin

Buy Klonopin

Klonopin

Buy Klonopin Online

Buy Klonopin Online

Buy clonazepam Online

Buy Klonopin Online

Klonopin

Klonopin

Klonopin

Klonopins

Klonopins

Buy Klonopin

Buy Klonopin

Buy Adipex Online

Buy Klonopin without prescription

Buy Klonopin without prescription

Buy Klonopin online

Buy Klonopin No prescription

Buy Klonopin without prescription

Buy Klonopin Online

Buy Klonopin Online

Klonopin

Klonopin

Klonopin

Buy Klonopin Online

Buy Klonopin Online
Buy Meridia

Buy Meridia

Meridia

Meridia

Meridia

Meridias

Meridia

Meridia

Buy Soma

Buy Soma Online

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger doron said...

In some cases Viagrais the best solution
Viagra Alternativemany people use
Buy xanax
and other try Xanax
you can Buy xanaxand also try to use
Phentermine
yes many pepole try
Buy Phentermine Online
and many others use
Propecia
another drug you is
Cialis also called a hypnotic.
Cialis affects chemicals in your brain Buy Phentermine Online unbalanced and cause sleep problems
cialis that causes
cialis dose-related depression
Alprazolam
is useful in treating anxiety
cialis and muscle spasms
cialis Brand name is
Phentermine A generic version
Percocet is a combination of
viagra is a Schedule
Buy Percocet to discuss what
Phentermine These would include
Percocet recreationally rather than
Buy Phentermine Online either an Addict
Valium yes this is the best website for
Valium here you can purchase
Valium online without prescription,
Valium from USA pharmacy
Valium for Anxity, or
Buy Phentermine Online on how best to deal
Phentermine No prescription specifically developed to allow Phentermine No prescription for office-based treatment Buy Ativan is in a group of drugs
Ativan is used to treat anxiety disorders.
Klonopin is in a group of drugs called benzodiazepines
Xanax online offers
Xanax online sale
Ambien best price
Ambien best choice Ativan also here Ativan No Prescription Klonopin best price Xenical best prices Ultram online pharmacy Ambien Online best price.

 
At 5:58 PM, Blogger doron said...

Accutane


Accutane


Accutane


accutane
Buy Ativan Online


Buy Ativan Onlin


Buy Ativan Onlin


Buy Colnazepan Online


Buy Ativan Onlin


Ativan


Ativan


Ativan


Ativan


Ativan


Buy Ativan Without Prescriptsion


Buy Ativan Without Prescriptsion


Buy ativan online


Buy Ativan


Buy Ativan Online


buy Ativan No prescription


buy Ativan No prescription


buy Ativan Without prescription


Buy Ativan Online


Buy Ativan Online


Ativan


Ativan

Ativan Online

Ativan Online

Buy Ativan

Buy Ativan

Ativan

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger doron said...

propecia

levitra

acomplia

codein

ativan

clonazepam

ultram

klonopin

alprazolam

meridia

adipex

adipex

adipex


ambien

ambien


vicodin

vicodin


propecia

propecia


ultram

ultram


tramadol

tramadol


hydrocodone

hydrocodone


ativan

oxycontin

clonazepam

klonopin

meridia

propecia

ultram

xanax

levitra

valium

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Powered by Blogger

Health Blog Top Sites